TowerBloke

                                                                                                    TOWER FAQ’S

 

                                                                          
                                                                                                        TowerBloke
WHY DID YOU BUILD IT?

  • To prove to myself that I could
  • To “keep out of her way” for extended periods
  • To create personal “lock-up” (& lock-out) space
  • Somewhere quiet to study the “Meaning of Life”

WHERE IS THIS TOWER?

  • On private property about 100km west of Sydney, Australia
  • Tower Fanatics welcome to visit (by appointment – email first)

WHEN DID YOU BUILD IT?

  • Applied for Council Development Application late 2004
  • Started excavations mid 2006
  • Laid first block 1st Jan 2007
  • Roof installed 3rd Jan 2008
  • Moved in & started pondering late 2008

WHO BUILT IT?

  • TowerBloke (everything except below)
  • Trevor/Peter P (electrical hook ups)
  • Peter R/John/Nigel (helped lift floor joists & windows)
  • Lance (fabricated the steel conical roof ~ clever!)
  • Dave (hung front door ~ also clever!)
  • Peter R (spurious advice, nagging, custom-made table)

 
WHAT ARE THE TOWER DIMENSIONS?

  • Diameter of outer wall 4440mm
  • Height approx 14 metres (46’) including lightning rod
  • Rectangular slumped blocks 400x200x180mm high
  • Arrow slit windows 1100x200mm

WHAT’S IT MADE FROM?

  • Walls ~ Timbercrete blocks (see www.timbercrete.com.au)
  • Roof ~ 1.5mm gal steel sheet, cut & shaped & bolted together
  • Shingles ~ USA made fiberglass, 50 year warranty, pop riveted

WHAT ARE THE MAIN FEATURES?

  • Slow combustion stove (ground floor) heats whole Tower
  • Local “Fastigata” (Brown Barrel) gumtree floors (milled locally)
  • Lockable vent in peak of roof (temperature control)
  • Lightning conductor with 40 metres copper cable earth
  • Seventeen DOUBLE power outlets
  • Provision for plumbing, water & waste (not needed yet)
  • Top Floor “air chair”, swings on 5 metre chain
  • TV, phone, Internet, Microwave, fridge, bed, chairs, wood box
  • Mountains of memorabilia; stuff not allowed in the marital home
  • Life-size Chinese Terracotta Warrior (Mr Wong) in middle floor
  • “Mummy” coffee table (c/w mummified cat, rats & snakeskin)
  • Soft yellow halogen spotlights around Tower glow at night
  • Solar powered fountain in pond, landscaped exterior

WHAT’S THE TOWER WORTH?

  • To the TowerBloke, zillions (investment = blood, sweat, tears)
  • Professional Builder quoted approx $100,000 to build it
  • COST can only be whispered out of earshot of Mrs TowerBloke

WHAT DO WOMEN SAY?

  • Why the heck would you want one of them?
  • What’s it for?
  • I really find it quite hard to comprehend
  • What a waste of time and effort
  • Doesn’t he have anything better to do with his time?
  • Do you allow him to come up here?
  • Does he sleep here during marital tiffs?

WHAT DO MEN SAY?

  • Ohhhhhhh YESSSSSSSSSS !!!!!
  • I want one!
  • You lucky bugger!

WHAT DO YOU DO IN IT?

  • Anything I damn well please!!!
  • Entertain valued TowerBloke friends
  • Escape the pressures of daily life
  • Snooze undetected (in the guise of “working”)
  • Tell TowerBloke grandchildren scary stories
  • Ponder, meditate, pray, seek God, read His Word

HAS YOUR TOWER HELPED YOUR EGO PROBLEM?

  • Yes, Ego now larger, stronger & healthier than ever

LIST YOUR MAIN INJURIES

  • Stanley knife strike on head (blunt end first, thank goodness)
  • Swig of Mineral Turps instead of water (Turps burps for days)
  • Nitrogen from urethane, “blue” eyesight for 3 days afterwards
  • Sore back, blood blisters, cuts, nothing serious (thank You)

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

  • You tell me
  • Or see separate section entitled “Meaning of Life”

CAN TowerBloke SELL ME SOMETHING?

  • Definitely, see the “Rip Me Off” page

CAN I CONTACT THE TowerBloke?

  • Email him at towerbloke@gmail.com

                                                                        
                                                                                           Mr Wong heads for the Tower